If the family wants it straightforward, don't write anobituary that is too flowery, glowing with adverbs.ħ. More importantly, honor the family's traditionsand wishes. Don't break all of thesetime-honored rules. Most obituaries are cookie cutterspeeches, containing certain information. Turn off the clamorso that you can envision the person you are writing about andwelcome their memory into your own heart.Ħ. Turn off your Blackberry andlet the answering machine take your messages. I need morethan two hands to count the number of funerals I have attended inwhich someone did not fact-check a date or misspelled a name.ĥ. Get the correct spellings of family members' names, schools theyattended, and correct dates of events such as births or deaths.Double-check with another family member as a back-up. You may want to insert it inthe obituary.Ĥ. Ask the family if the loved onehad a favorite poet or hymn or saying. Because you have a limited amountof wordage to work with, make sure those three words are embodiedin your description of the person. Ask family members to give you three key words that show theessence of the deceased person. This willhelp you focus on the person's passions and dreams and what theycelebrated in life.ģ. Ask to seephotos, mementoes, postcards from a recent trip, etc. If you do not know the person you are writing about, ask to lookat something tangible the person owned and loved. Or perhaps they had a laugh that was socontagious it would set a room full of people laughing as well.Ģ. Perhaps the loved one got a nicknamefor doing something outlandish, or loved a certain snack so muchthat they would trek to the local store in rain or sleet when theyhad a craving for it. Listen to their stories, because even in theirgrief there are bound to be humorous recollections that you caninterject into the obituary. Meet withthe family at a time when they have some "down" time, perhaps atthe dinner table. Planning a memorial service or funeral is time-consuming. Meet with the family of the deceased when they have the time totalk. If you need more help, you can also find manyresources online, including templates.ġ. If you are considering writing an obituary - whether for family orfriends or as a freelance writing opportunity - here are some tipsto help you. Your words, like those I wrote for mymother and my girlfriend, should be carefully chosen to celebrate aloved one's life. Hopefully thesewill be words family members can hold onto on those days whensorrow overwhelms them. Your writing can give them wordsthat can be inked into their psyche and wrapped around them liketheir grandmother's patchwork quilt, long after the mourners havegone and the last condolence card has been read. According to "Freelance Writing PayRates - How Much Money Do Writers Make" by Laurie Pawklik-Kienlen(which appeared in the blog Quips and Tips for SuccessfulWriters), writers can make from $35 to $225 per project writingobituary copy.Įven if you see this as a money-making opportunity, however, I hopeyou first and foremost see it as a means to use your writing tohelp the loved ones left behind. As writers we can use our skills to writeobituaries not only for loved ones but for those who may not knowhow to craft words as well and as skilfully as we do. Words can be a balm for those who are grieving, especially wordsthat are written. Herpain was immeasurable and if I could ease it by handling thememorializing of her daughter, I could not decline. Though full of grief, I wrote one that was simple yeteloquent in the way it celebrated her in her many roles as a woman.When my girlfriend lost her daughter a few years ago, she asked meto write her daughter's obituary. When my mother died, I knew not only as her daughter but as awriter whom she was proud of, that I would be the one to write herobituary. Negotiating ContractsSetting Fees/Getting Paid HELPFUL LINKS | EDITOR'S CORNER (Ramblings on the Writing Life) HOME | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP | MASTER ARTICLE INDEX | ADVERTISE WITH US! Writing an Obituary: How Your Words Can Heal The Grief-Stricken
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